It's Not Fair
by RubyFiamma
Summary: [SouRin] [PWP w/ Fluff] In which Rin never understands what Sousuke's thinking.


**[Pairing]** Yamazaki Sousuke/Matsuoka Rin  
**[Fandom]** Free! Eternal Summer  
**[Rating]** R18  
**[Warnings]** First times but not all the way, Rin cries  
**[Disclaimer]** I don't own Free! or the characters thereof. If I did, I'd do a better job with Sousuke's fucking ending. Yeah, I said it. All rights reserved, Kyoto Animation.

* * *

**It's Not Fair**

Sousuke's calm, collected; just like he always is and it drives Rin mad. He has no idea what the other is thinking about and can only hope it's something mutual judging by that predatory glint Rin barely notices in Sousuke's eyes.

It isn't fair that he gets to be like this, playing nonchalant with that suave smirk on his face while Rin is going crazy on the inside.

Sousuke's hands rake down Rin's sides, his thumbs rub over each rib individually before he sets his fingertips on the edge of Rin's belt and raises an eyebrow expectantly.

Rin's not composed enough to make a sound, let alone form any sort of word but he knows Sousuke is waiting for his approval so all he can do is nod.

Sousuke leans in and his nose creates a path through Rin's red hair that brushes along the side of his neck for Sousuke's lips to press against. Rin can feel Sousuke's breath hot under his ear and on the nape of his neck as Sousuke works his way past Rin's belt and into his boxers.

Rin's heart is thrumming against his chest, rapid like a humming bird's wings. He draws in a sharp breath when Sousuke's hand closes around his cock and he instinctively arches off the bed, right into Sousuke's chest.

Sousuke's mouth is still by his ear when Rin hears a subtle gasp leave it with the contact, so he holds his position and presses into Sousuke more.

It isn't fair that Sousuke never seems to show how he's really feeling and try as he might, Rin's emotions are always written all over his face. He feels like with their first time, the first time Sousuke's ever touched him like this, should come with some sort of concession; some kind of clue that would let Rin know how Sousuke really feels. It isn't fair that Rin _loves _him, even if he doesn't want to admit it. It shows, as much as he tries to show it and Sousuke knows him well enough to see right through his denial anyway. But with that stoic expression, Rin can't see past it at all.

"S-Sousuke," Rin breathes against his ear and he feels Sousuke's body stiffen. He panics, he's nervous that Sousuke's having second thoughts, that maybe he's pushed Sousuke too far and that he doesn't actually want to do this.

But when he's about to question it, Sousuke's hand on his cock starts to move, slow and languid. "Rin," he says and it's all throaty and smooth.

The pleasurable sound of Sousuke's voice sends tingles through every inch of his body and if Rin could get any harder, now would be the time.

"You like this?" It's more of a statement then a question but Sousuke's thumb rubs over his slit and causes Rin to let out a shaky moan.

His hand moves a little faster now and Rin can feel himself coming undone, the heat that started low in his groin now floods his stomach and spreads throughout his chest. His heart is beating so fast he feels like he's done over a hundred laps around a pool. He keeps himself propped up on one elbow and one arm hooked across Sousuke's broad back while Sousuke remains half in between his legs with his mouth leaving hot kisses and his tongue leaving damp trails over his neck, collar bone and nipples.

He tries biting Sousuke's shoulder, licking at the shell of his ear but Sousuke's hand on his cock moving in sure and steady strokes while his teeth sink into Rin's flesh in various places has Rin groaning breathlessly too often for him to make any more physical contact than he already is.

"Heh," Sousuke mutters, wet against his chest. "I wonder... If you'd like it - if I went all the way down?"

Rin doesn't have to ask what he means and the thought of Sousuke's mouth _there _is both horrifying and all the same erotic and he can't make a decisive decision. He nods halfheartedly but his mouth stutters a "N-no - don't put your - aah!"

Sousuke's hand fits in Rin's hair as he tugs it back and Rin knows no matter what he says, Sousuke's going to do what he wants anyways. It isn't fair, Rin thinks, that Sousuke can do all this to him and not get the slightest bit flustered when all Sousuke has to do is stroke his cock and tug at his hair to turn him into a hot mess.

"That's good," Sousuke says in that same sultry voice. Rin tries to get a good look at him but the pleasure building is causing his eyes to sting with tears and all he can do is moan Sousuke's name as he starts to work his way down.

His mouth is on Rin's cock faster than Rin can blink away the tears and his tongue lashes around the length of it then laps at the base of it, working all the way to the head where Sousuke's tongue takes a dip in the slit. His teal eyes slide up and meet Rin's and they look at him sharply with smug defiance. He may seem like he's enjoying this but Rin can't tell if this is what he really _wants _to do.

Rin can't hold that gaze for long because his face and tips of his ears begin to burn with embarrassment and he can't stop the "Ah! Ah! Oh God!"'s that leave his mouth. He can feel the muscles in his thighs tense up and the muscles in his abdomen tighten and he knows that he's close. Rin stays focused on Sousuke's head bobbing up and down and the sloppy sounds his mouth makes as he works Rin's cock in and out of it.

"S-Sousuke! Aa-hah!" Rin cries when he lets it go with a _pop _and Sousuke's fingers splay across his shaft; one glides down to the stretch of skin between his globes and his hole. It's teasing and Rin has never done this before so every sensation is bright and new and when Sousuke's fingertip presses against his entrance and begins easing in ever so slightly, white flashes across his vision as his toes curl and Rin is gasping "_S-shit_, Sou-!" before coming onto his stomach and over Sousuke's hand.

Rin pants and watches as Sousuke licks his lips while he grins. Heat flushes Rin's entire body and he can't bear to look at Sousuke's face right now. It's not fair that Rin has to feel like this, pleasured and satisfied but unsure and insecure while Sousuke can make those kinds of faces after what they've just done, after what _he's _just done. Sousuke doesn't look the least bit phased at all. And of course without much required thought, Rin can feel the tears start to stream down his face and he wants to laugh at the irony of it all; it wouldn't be fitting of Rin if his orgasm wasn't simultaneously the most spectacular and depressing thing he's ever experienced.

He's close to sobbing now when he feels Sousuke's hand at his cheek, feather light and near weightless, and he stifles the next heave in a choking bubble that lodges hard in his throat.

"Rin?" he asks, his voice soft and wavering. Rin thinks he can delude himself into hearing some kind of concern in Sousuke's voice, something that says this is more than just physical.

"It's not fair," Rin sobs, his own voice trembling as much as his body is.

"What's not -"

"It's not fair," Rin repeats, wiping the tears off his cheeks with the back of his hand. "T-that I - that _you _don't feel- I mean, why m-me?" Because Rin will never understand if Sousuke never tells him. He'll never get past Sousuke's iron clad façade if he never asks.

Sousuke frowns and wraps his arms around Rin, nuzzles his face into the crook of his neck. "Shh," he says quietly. He can feel warmth in Sousuke's cheek as it rests on his shoulder. It takes a while but Sousuke breathes in and kisses just under his ear once, twice before saying, "It's... It's always been you."

With this Rin's heart skips a beat and he knows he'll never get anything more simpler of a confession other than this but the tears resume and he holds Sousuke tighter, wondering if he'll ever feel the same way Rin does. _It's always been you_ isn't a definitive answer at all but it'll have to do if Rin doesn't want what they've started between them to already end.

"It's fair," Sousuke whispers like he's read Rin's mind. Maybe it's just because he just _knows _Rin, but it seems like he can read every nuance Rin's body offers. "Because I've always loved you."


End file.
